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Journey Journal Part Eight

This is the Eighth installment in a series of posts straight from our journal (handwritten).  When we first received the difficult diagnosis for our daughter (still in the womb), we immediately started journaling.  Click here to start reading Journal from the beginning. Here is what we said:

DAY SIX – September 30, 2001 – (Robin)

What a great day! We received great encouragement today from our friends and family @ church.  God showed love to us through them.

We felt the comforting Holy Spirit as many people prayed for us!  Bro. Phillips prophesied that everything would be alright for our Baby.  We go tomorrow to visit the doctor.  Thank you, Jesus, for a wonderful day.

==

2013 Commentary
This post was short, sweet, and simple.  Living in community ushers in God’s love and light better than anything.  Christ’s body on the earth displays His characteristics.  The ‘church’ in general has many flaws based on the human element. Yet, God in his infinite grace and mercy (in spite of humanity) continues to reveal healing through people.

Have you experienced this?

Read the next installment

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Journey Journal Part Seven

Lately, we have been posting on our blog stuff we wrote 12 years ago when we first received the difficult diagnosis for our daughter.  Today’s, entry is difficult for me to read.  It really shows the progress we have made over the last decade.  When I wrote it, I still thought “bad” was a child with special needs.  We were thinking the only way for God to show up was a complete healing.  We were asking God, “Show up so that we don’t have to live this difficult life.” Instead of doing that He showed up so that we could live this difficult life. Here is what I said:

DAY FIVE – September 29, 2001 – (Robin)

Today was hard.

I was attacked with doubt and lack of faith.  I reverted to thinking ‘what if it is all bad’.  It would be so hard on Erica and I.  The reality of having a child with multiple special needs is staggering.

How would God use this situation?

Would we be strong enough for this?

We aren’t even equipped to be regular parents.  This reminds me of Randy’s song “Blessing in the Thorn”.  I am praying that the Holy Spirit dwells in our baby’s body.  In Psalms it says the Earth responded to God’s deliverance of Israel.  The baby’s body must respond to the Spirit of God dwelling in it.

God give us understanding and peace.  It feels like I’m running low.

I need you, Lord.

==

Read the Next Installment 

Click here to start reading Journal from the beginning.

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Journey Journal Part Six

This is the sixth installment in a series of posts straight from our journal (handwritten).  When we first received the difficult diagnosis for our daughter (still in the womb), we immediately started journaling.  Click here to start reading Journal from the beginning. Here is what we said:

DAY FOUR – September 28, 2001 – (Robin)

Today, I felt almost normal.  There is no more shock and we have tried to live normal lives.  It is amazing that we are offering support to others.  It is an honor. God deserves all the honor and glory.

We have only begun. This is not a sprint, but a series of marathons.  We are getting our second wind in 1st mile of the first marathon.

God will be with us every step of the way.  I have never felt so close to God in my life and I have never felt so close to family and friends.  I have never needed other people in my life.  However, now when people say, “If you need anything, let us know” I take them very serious.

I am excited about what I am about to learn from God.  We have only touched the tip of the iceberg!

2013 Commentary
I welcome you comments on these posts.  Honestly, this process of reading the old journal entries has been a weird experience for me.  Weird in a good way.  Honestly, I had forgotten a lot of the emotion and things we learned along the way.  This post was dead on. We have run a lot.  Uphill journeys and a ton of beautiful experiences have characterized our path. We had no idea what would happen but we plowed through with our Trust in God.  Still plowing!!

Your thoughts??

Read the next Installment here

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Journey Journal Part Five

This is the fifth installment in a series of posts straight from our journal (handwritten).  When we first received the difficult diagnosis for our daughter (still in the womb), we immediately started journaling.  Click here to start reading Journal from the beginning. Here is what we said:

DAY FOUR – September 28, 2001 – (Erica)

A Prayer…

Trying to take it all in.

That would basically sum up what I am doing.  Yesterday was the hardest day. The shock started wearing off.  Denise (Phillips) called and talked to me to see how I was doing.  It was so good to just talk to someone.  She said that we have been given the peace that passes all understanding.  It is so true.

You have given us such peace in what would otherwise be a traumatic situation.  I thank you, Lord, for your strength and I believe whole heartedly that this child and this situation is going to bring you awesome glory.  Thank you for allowing us to be a part of that.

It is so hard and so easy at the same time.  Please continue to draw Robin and I closer to you and closer to each other; so that we can find our refuge and strength solely in you.  Let us see this through spiritual eyes and not the eyes of man.

Thank you for sending us such abundant support through family and friends.  Thank you for a healthy beautiful baby girl.

<3 E.

2013 Commentary
Unfortunately, this is the last installment from Erica for quite a while.  She wrote a few posts and then didn’t write again until mid-October (a month later).  I (robin) continued writing and will post those in coming days.  God answered her prayers about her marriage. He used this situation to bring our relationship closely together.  The divorce rate for Special Needs parents is a lot higher than for parents of typical kids.  We give God the honor for what He continues to do in our life and marriage.

Read the next Installment

Journey Journal Part Four

This is the fourth installment in a series of posts straight from our journal (handwritten).  When we first received the difficult diagnosis for our daughter (still in the womb), we immediately started journaling.  Click here to start reading Journal from the beginning. Here is what we said:

DAY THREE – September 27, 2001 – (Robin)

The thoughts have slowed way down.  As we educate ourself on the situation we answer a lot of questions in our mind.  However, today it has taken the worst toll.

The heaviness lingers in the background.  It is not literal thoughts that haunt us. Actually, nothing haunts us or scares us, but the attack against us is almost subliminal.  A weight we feel but don’t necessarily think about.

We are surrounded by incredible people that are ministering to us.  Phillips, Ragsdales, Steeles, Lowerys, Zwernamans, Ross, countless @ church, Hineslys.

God will get the victory.  Psalm 107 ministered to me a lot.  We serve Jehova Rapha, Jirah, Shamma. Provider, healer, more than enough!!

==

Commentary from 2013 

Going back and reading our posts blows my mind! I forgot how much God provided for us and how his strength made a way. It clearly shows how He is always enough (even when you think you can’t make it). It also shows how easy it is to forget what He has done. It has been so refreshing to dig up these journals.
However, a few days from now, I will posting one that is difficult for me to read. It shows the ups and downs of our emotions and the spiritual growth we have experienced.

Thinking back over your life, have you experienced the power of God show up in a comforting way? 

How important is it for you to remember these times and praise God for them?

Read the next Installment 

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Psalm 107

1 Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good!
His faithful love endures forever.
2 Has the Lord redeemed you? Then speak out!
Tell others he has redeemed you from your enemies.
3 For he has gathered the exiles from many lands,
from east and west,
from north and south.
4 Some wandered in the wilderness,
lost and homeless.
5 Hungry and thirsty,
they nearly died.
6 “Lord, help!” they cried in their trouble,
and he rescued them from their distress.
7 He led them straight to safety,
to a city where they could live.
8 Let them praise the Lord for his great love
and for the wonderful things he has done for them.
9 For he satisfies the thirsty
and fills the hungry with good things.
10 Some sat in darkness and deepest gloom,
imprisoned in iron chains of misery.
11 They rebelled against the words of God,
scorning the counsel of the Most High.
12 That is why he broke them with hard labor;
they fell, and no one was there to help them.
13 “Lord, help!” they cried in their trouble,
and he saved them from their distress.
14 He led them from the darkness and deepest gloom;
he snapped their chains.
15 Let them praise the Lord for his great love
and for the wonderful things he has done for them.
16 For he broke down their prison gates of bronze;
he cut apart their bars of iron.
17 Some were fools; they rebelled
and suffered for their sins.
18 They couldn’t stand the thought of food,
and they were knocking on death’s door.
19 “Lord, help!” they cried in their trouble,
and he saved them from their distress.
20 He sent out his word and healed them,
snatching them from the door of death.
21 Let them praise the Lord for his great love
and for the wonderful things he has done for them.
22 Let them offer sacrifices of thanksgiving
and sing joyfully about his glorious acts.
23 Some went off to sea in ships,
plying the trade routes of the world.
24 They, too, observed the Lord’s power in action,
his impressive works on the deepest seas.
25 He spoke, and the winds rose,
stirring up the waves.
26 Their ships were tossed to the heavens
and plunged again to the depths;
the sailors cringed in terror.
27 They reeled and staggered like drunkards
and were at their wits’ end.
28 “Lord, help!” they cried in their trouble,
and he saved them from their distress.
29 He calmed the storm to a whisper
and stilled the waves.
30 What a blessing was that stillness
as he brought them safely into harbor!
31 Let them praise the Lord for his great love
and for the wonderful things he has done for them.
32 Let them exalt him publicly before the congregation
and before the leaders of the nation.
33 He changes rivers into deserts,
and springs of water into dry, thirsty land.
34 He turns the fruitful land into salty wastelands,
because of the wickedness of those who live there.
35 But he also turns deserts into pools of water,
the dry land into springs of water.
36 He brings the hungry to settle there
and to build their cities.
37 They sow their fields, plant their vineyards,
and harvest their bumper crops.
38 How he blesses them!
They raise large families there,
and their herds of livestock increase.
39 When they decrease in number and become impoverished
through oppression, trouble, and sorrow,
40 the Lord pours contempt on their princes,
causing them to wander in trackless wastelands.
41 But he rescues the poor from trouble
and increases their families like flocks of sheep.
42 The godly will see these things and be glad,
while the wicked are struck silent.
43 Those who are wise will take all this to heart;
they will see in our history the faithful love of the Lord.