This is the tenth installment in a series of posts straight from our journal (handwritten). When we first received the difficult diagnosis for our daughter (still in the womb), we immediately started journaling. Click here to start reading Journal from the beginning. Here is what we said:
DAY Nine – October 3, 2001 – (Robin)
God is giving us more strength. People at church know and many are emailing and talking to us at church. Erica is starting to feel more fatigue due to pregnancy. She is going to have to take it more easy.
The weather is so beautiful outside. It has been a reminder of God’s goodness and faithfulness. We live in Grace and God’s presence is represented in the consistency of nature. (the sun always comes up)
Life is feeling more normal. The shock is wearing off. We have seen so many doctors; it is crazy.
We need to talk to the Master Physician more.
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2013 Commentary
I remember leaving college finals thinking I had failed or did really bad. As I left the building, I would see the brilliant clouds, green leaves, and crisp air. The consistency of nature reminded me of how little I am and how much God is still in control. Sometimes, it feels like you are the center of the universe and all of your struggles will somehow sink the rest of the world too. In reality, everything else continues to roll on…and so will you. (Thanks, Jesus)
That reminds me of a place in my life earlier this year. I was in a situation that was completely out of my control. I couldn’t change it, but the circumstances of it were impacting my life significantly in a negative way.
I began telling God how angry I was and that this was not how my life was supposed to be. But as I walked outside on our beautiful church property, I had that same moment of realization you wrote about. I saw the beauty and goodness and consistency of God.
I realized that I wanted my story to be a reflection of all those qualities of God. I decided my story would not stop here in a pit of anger and pain.
I want my story to reflect God in the middle of it all, even if He never changes the painfully hard circumstances. It’s not about me having a “perfect” life.
Thanks for sharing, Elizabeth! Good to hear from you. It is amazing how God can speak through nature. Some of my favorite moments in life have been driving through the Rocky Mountains. It is refreshing to be reminded of how other things (and God) transcend our lives.