We were approached by Steve Slate (incredible photographer from the San Antonio area) to participate in his photo project called, “Choice is a Person”.  Eventually, he will publish this work in a book.  He is showing the faces of people affected by birth choice.

In the meantime, he is posting on his blog.  Check it out here.  You can get a sample below.

When I read about Robin’s story I was just taken back at the adversity he and his wife faced.  Knowing that your first child will not be perfect, like you expect, has to be disheartening.  However, Robin and his wife were tightly connected to family and their church.  That support group, along with their faith, was paramount in helping them solidify their decision in choosing life.  Having a doctor tell you that you can go to Kansas and have a late-term abortion had to be demoralizing.  But Robin didn’t allow that to define him.  After deciding to carry Kennady to term and accept whatever God has for them, they experienced a life-changing event that continues on to this day.  Their daughter might not be exactly like most children, but what she gives cannot be measured.  One of the turning points in Robin’s story was when the doctor literally wrote on Kennady’s records, “THE PARENTS UNDERSTAND THAT THERE IS NO CHANCE OF THEIR DAUGHTER HAVING A MEANINGFUL LIFE”.  He was floored.  He was angry.  This was a defining moment.  Instead of blaming God, or running away from Him, or blaming others, Robin went to God with it.  He pressed into Him.  And that’s when the reality hit home.  God is the only One that assigns MEANING in Life.  Sure people play a role, but it is only God that gives things true meaning.  This affected him so intensely, that he eventually wrote a book about it.  Check it out here.

The reason why I chose Robin to participate in my project is because he chose life for his daughter.  He didn’t give in to the pressures of society.  He wasn’t going to take the easy road out.  He knew he might not have the strength and endurance to be able to perfectly raise a special needs daughter, but he chose to face it head on.  He refused to listen to the arguments for abortion, like some many people today do.  People actually have abortions for sex selection purposes, birth defects, down syndrome, genetic disorders, and many others to name a few.  The problem with this type of thinking is, WE ARE NOT GOD.  We were never meant to play God either.  There are so many stories about parents being told to abort because the doctor has discovered something abnormal about the baby, and option #1 to solve it is to abort.  The fear of malpractice lawsuits have prompted this trend.  And unfortunately it has become widely accepted and influenced the medical community immensely.  The baby is never the problem.  Robin knew this, and his beautiful daughter Kennady is living proof.  When I met her, she was quiet, but when she heard music she started to liven up, an occasional smile here and there.  When Robin started talking to her, whispering close to her face where she could hear and feel the air of his “daddy words” and feel his lips gently brush up against her forehead with a kiss, she lit up with smiles and sounds of pure joy.

There was a connection between Kennady and her father, one that words can’t describe.  It was like witnessing love entering a room, becoming tangible.  Like two kindred spirits dancing in tune with every beat.  What I witnessed that day will never be forgotten.

Robin told me that the condition Kennady has normally limits the life span to about two years.  She’s 19 years old now.  There are only a few people older than her (in the world) with her condition that are still living.  She’s a living miracle.  Why did God choose to give Kennady to Robin as a daughter?  I can’t fully answer that question, but I can say his life wouldn’t be as meaningful without her.  The doctor was right about one thing during those early days in the hospital about a meaningful life, he left God out of the statement.  Without God, life is meaningless, but with God all things are possible.  Robin is a man of integrity, determination, and a heart that’s too big to ever be full. He pastors a church now, and his success is partly due to the lessens he has been taught by his daughter.  When you trust God, and not play Him, He expands the capacity to love beyond the limits of our hearts.  Robin chose life.  He accepted his role in this story, and God rewarded him with a special needs daughter that has given him more love than most of us could ever comprehend.  Real life isn’t easy, but when we choose to honor God in it, He will honor us in return.  Robin Steele is living proof of this TRUTH.

Here’s a series of questions I asked him with his answers. For those of you who have questioned yourself about having a special needs child, this man’s testimony may give you insight into your own heart. May Robin’s story be a blessing to you. For more on Robin Steele, father of a special needs daughter, pastor of Promised Land San Marcos church, and author of “How to Be Made Whole”, you can visit his web sites here, www.mademeaningful.com or pastorrobin.com.

When your daughter was diagnosed, what options were you given by the doctor?

We were given the option for abortion (traveling to Kansas for a 30 late term abortion) or continue the pregnancy with a specialist.

Where did you find strength to get through the rough parts of your journey?

Our strength was from God and our church family.  Both of these were crucial to sustain the brutal news that our baby would not be normal.

If you could go back and change one thing about your life, what might that be?

I would have slowed down and enjoyed the early years more instead of trying to move forward so fast.

What would you say is the biggest misconception people have about raising a special needs child?

People think that raising a special needs kid is all bad.  Nothing is further from the truth. Our daughter blesses us everyday with miracles that we would never have had without her. These outweigh the negative.

What would your advice be for anyone facing a complicated pregnancy in which the baby has been diagnosed with some abnormality in which the medical staff paints a grim outlook?

I recommend people diving into a church family with everything they have.  Be vulnerable. Ask for help.

What has your daughter taught you most about life?

My daughter has taught us that only God determines our value and meaning.  Doctors, parents, friends, and others all play a role, but only the creator can give value.

If there is one truth about “valuing life” that you could speak into the lives of all people, what would that truth be?

If we trust God with our value, then we know that he has a plan that we can’t explain or predict. We need to let go of control and let him lead the way.