Erica and I were shell-shocked a few hours after Kennady’s birth. We had the emotional exhilaration of birth. Seeing a new baby exit the womb and enter the world is one of the most impactful experiences I have witnessed. Then, after the MRI, we received the news from Dr Wilson that our daughter not only had fluid on the brain (a condition with quite a bit of hope for a normal life), but she also had a condition that was immensely worse. Her brain did not divide into halves. They were unsure of what parts of her brain were actually developed and therefore could offer zero prognosis. At that point, we realized, barring a miracle, our daughter would be severely mentally retarded for her whole life.
The weight of that type of diagnosis and sort of ‘final word’ is difficult to explain. While in the womb, there was hope that when she was born everything would change. That the good news we were waiting for would finally show up and God would be glorified. This was the day we received the crushing blow of reality. God did not heal her in the womb.
Why does news like that seem so difficult? Later when I dissected the news itself and investigated why it felt like a ton of bricks, ironically something some thing very positive was revealed. News like that is horrible because of the fear it casts for the future. We had thoughts like: ‘she will never talk, she will never walk’, ‘she is going to need a wheelchair’, ‘what if I am still changing her diaper when she is 25 years old and I am 50’. All the angst and difficulty was in the future. All the bad news, difficulty, abnormality, and stress was technically months and years down the line.
If we looked at that day itself, her diagnosis had minimal effect. She laid cutely and quietly in her crib and for all intents and purposes was a ‘normal’ new born.
One of our heroes, Cindy Woldhagen, has a son with Down’s Syndrome. During this season of our life, Cindy was source of strength and inspiration. After Kennady’s diagnosis, she told us a statement that completely changed our outlook from that day forward. It was a simple statement. In fact, it is quite cliché. I had heard it for years and thought it was a neat little philosophy. However, when we stood in the church hallway that Sunday, she said it and it was like the heavens opened, beams of light shown down, and angels sang. She calmly said, “Robin, you have to take it day by day.” So simple yet so liberating. I felt peace flood my anguished heart and mind. I didn’t have to think about wheelchairs or adult diapers. All I had to do was care for my family today. That is it. That is all Kennady needed and all God expected.
This is not just a good philosophy. These words originally came from Jesus during his most famous sermon. When He talks about the troubles of life, He says,
“So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.” Matthew 6:34 NLT
A few scriptures before that, He is teaching us how to pray and He says,
“Give us today the food we need” Matthew 6:11 NLT
He was precise in His wording. He could have said, “Give us the food we need for the next week or month…” However, throughout this sermon, He emphasizes daily priority. In our modern culture, we are driven focus on what we don’t have today and therefore do all we can to obtain more in the future. Instead, Jesus is saying look at what you have now and use it to the best of your ability. In fact, you might not even be around tomorrow. If you are around tomorrow, then deal with it then.
Many times in scripture Jesus’ schedule is interrupted by individuals needing assistance. He often dropped his plans and healed, scolded, delivered, saved, related to whoever was there. He had a lot of very important work to do. All the while, He knew that he was facing the pressure of the cross in the near future. He knew that the cross was inescapable. I am sure He had human thoughts of “I wonder if these disciples are actually going to get the job done.” “The cross is going to take me away from the progress being made.” Jesus was well aware of His own path of death. If He was to face accusation, persecution, and death, that path was certain to lead to beating, public humility, and at the end was hands and feet being physically nailed to wood and then suspended in mid air. The Romans demonstrated this method of capital punishment often.
For a moment, put yourself in Jesus’ shoes. How stressful would that be? We struggle with the stress of traffic and bills, much less trying to deal with being drug to the town square and brutally murdered in front of crying family and friends, embarrassed strangers, and laughing enemies. Most likely we would struggle with daily operations. Studying for tests at school, preparing for work, or finishing projects would be extremely difficult. Jesus knew that the prospect of future disappointment and of immanent danger could cripple your effectiveness today.
This was not just because He is God, but because He personally experienced it as a human Himself.
He knew you needed to be effective today, so He preaches this powerful truth. Let tomorrow worry about itself. Get it right today. Nail today.
Recently, I got a call from a mom. “Please come and speak with my son, Joe. He woke up this morning hung-over. He is facing a serious court date soon. I’m afraid that he is going to seriously injure himself or others. Can you come to the house and speak to him? He really wants to do right, but is fighting the reality of a lot of scary scenarios.” I thought for a moment, looked at my busy schedule and decided to go meet with him. As I sat in their living room and discussed the broken past and depressing future, the words of Jesus began ringing in my ears. At 20 years of age, Joe faced a trial the next week that could possibly put him in prison for 10 years. He sat with a heavy heart, knowing that he had failed last night in a drunken stooper. He knew what was right, yet he was losing a fight with a demon of alcoholic addiction. Demons whisper in his ear, “If you are only 6 more days in the free world, why not just end with a huge party. You can clean up in jail.”
When facing the depression of 10 years incarcerated, a few more days of freedom, and no relationship with God, you are going to lose that battle. I told Joe that day to forget the prison sentence, forget next week, forget tomorrow.
“Joe, you need to focus on God for this moment. You need to serve God today. We are about to pray and when we do we are going to ask God to give you the power to overcome evil today. Then, tomorrow, you are going to wake up again and pray for tomorrow. However, the question you need to figure out is…’am I going to get drunk tonight.’ To answer that question ‘no’, then you need to ask God to give you strength and then set up some boundaries for today that will guard you.”
Why do we let the prospect of a difficult future cripple our potential for today? What Erica and I have found out is that God gives us exactly what we can handle each day. He incrementally gives us what we can handle. Some days, we think “are you sure God?” It seems extremely difficult, but we pray for God’s grace.
Each time he said,“My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.”2 Corinthians 12:9 NLT
No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. 1 Corinthians 10:13 NLT
In Joe’s example, it is easy to see that temptation is being battled. However, in Erica and my case, there is equal pressure to sin. We were not tempted to go get loaded that night, but we were tempted to doubt God. We were tempted to put ourselves first and tempted to believe that our comfort was most important over God’s sovereign plan. After all the devastation of our daughter’s illness was that our entire life was going to change and that every dream we thought was coming to pass with the birth of our child was turning into a nightmare. Even in that dark scenario, we knew that God was going to be there with His sufficient grace. Always allowing us to feel the pressure and giving us a choice.
People look at our family and how we handle situations and
tell us, “We could never do what you do. It’s amazing how strong you are.” What they don’t realize is that God has given us all daily challenges. Each day we grow stronger and stronger. The truth is that Erica and I are very strong. However, that strength is not from us and it didn’t happen overnight. It comes from God and it comes day by day. All parts of God’s creation grow in their own pace, yet each day is vital to its health and growth. How we steward over each day determines where we end up in the future. Just as walls are built one brick at a time, we link together days with God until we look back and realize He has created in us a wall of strength.
Just as we should never allow the unknown of tomorrow influence our success, we also should never let the regrets of yesterday affect today. Some folks’ battle with the past severely inhibits their potential. Fear of failure today is born out of yesterday’s mishaps. The power of Jesus Christ is able to erase the sin and brokenness of our past.
Repent therefore, and turn again, that your sins may be blotted out, that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord, and that he may send the Christ appointed for you, Jesus, whom heaven must receive until the time for restoring all the things about which God spoke by the mouth of his holy prophets long ago. Acts 3:19-21 ESV
For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith. 1 John 5:4 ESV
If you are struggling with bad news or a diagnosis, then do not let it cripple you now! Pray for God to bring the mercy to forgive and the grace to empower you. This will give you the fuel to not only ‘get through’ today, but conquer it and be ready for tomorrow when it gets here.
I (robin) am working on a non-fiction book proposal that will go along the same lines as our Made Meaningful ministry. From time to time, I post thoughts that will most likely end up in the book. These were some thoughts on prayer. (raw and unedited) I welcome your comments and/or questions to help me refine the writing.
Have you struggled with a future that looked impossible?
How did you overcome that fear?
Please share your thoughts.
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